Date : Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Time : 6:09:00 pm
Title :

-mixed feelings

{/ edited
okay, why am i having mixed feelings.

past few weeks:
kept checking my inbox
anticipating for that particular email.
at the same time, feeling very worried, and not very sure if they would actually send me that email that i've been looking forward to.

so, if they send me that email, i should be on cloud nine right?
i thought so too.

today:
my phone rang...
Me: Hello?
Gary (apparently a person from IDP in charged of my applications): Oh, hi, are you Lim Wei Sarah?
Me: erh, yah.
Gary: okay, you will need to replace Chemistry with one other subject then XX university in XX will give you an offer.

and he told me to email him my decision and blah blah blah...

"give you an offer" this phrase kept ringing in my mind. ( i know, i sound as if i'm writing a composition...) so i chose economics and sent an email to him.
his reply was attached with three university offers from three different states in XX. instead of being happy, i was feeling a little shitty. the kind of queasy feeling that i'm not seeing my friends and relatives forever, i am gonna die soon... ... I DON KNOW LUH! my heart is beating amazingly fast.

haiyorh. i really wanna die... i don know how to tell ahma... and ahyis and ahgus and jiujius and ahzeks and shushus... whatever.

wait till i tell my mum later, she'll definitely arrange for me to go to ah ma's place one day. HMPH.

then i'll start to think about telling JEANDDE on the next outing. i mean, they know. but i'll still need to tell them in person that it's confirmed and whatever. shit, i think i really sound as if i've contracted some terminal disease.

BYEBYE.